


of pouring rain and thunderstorms

by silberbunt



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Coming of Age, Donghyuck has problems with change, Everyone Loves Mark Lee (NCT), Hate to Love, High School, Hyuckie is stubborn, I'm sorry for the mess, Kinda, Lee Donghyuck | Haechan & Na Jaemin Are Best Friends, M/M, Mark is the new kid in town, Mark is whipped, Unconventional Families, i tried with the dialogues, i'm so bad at tagging i swear, introvert Lee Donghyuck | Haechan, it's only shortly mentioned, loss and gain, not even the author knows Donghyuck's reasons, not graphic anxiety attack, oof look at the w e a t h e r, this is kinda slow burn, this is kinda soft, this plays somewhere in the early 2000s
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-27
Updated: 2020-08-27
Packaged: 2021-03-06 04:22:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,530
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25843519
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silberbunt/pseuds/silberbunt
Summary: Donghyuck didn’t trust people from the city, especially those who decided to spend some years or maybe even the rest of their lives in this small town which has nothing to give but everything to take. It was not that he had any bad experience with people from the city but he didn't like change. At all.Change was scary, because Donghyuck lived by routines and everything that mixed those routines up was a threat to Donghyuck. So to say that he despised the new kid only for the reason that everyone already loved him without even talking to him in the first place was an understatement. Donghyuck wasn't that petty. (Or maybe he was. It all depended on how you looked at it, really.)"I would wake up every morning and think 'This will go down in flames'."or: Donghyuck hated change. He really did. And he especially hated the new kid in town who everyone was gushing about to Donghyuck without even meeting him before.
Relationships: Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Mark Lee, Minor Park Jisung/Zhong Chen Le - Relationship
Comments: 16
Kudos: 92





	of pouring rain and thunderstorms

**Author's Note:**

> i basically wrote this in the span of a week which is a personal high score of mine, i hope it turned out well enough as well👉🏼👈🏼
> 
> please ignore and forget every knowledge you have of the birthdays of the dreamies bc i gave them completely new ones, so don't be confused!  
> also, i've already written it in the tags, but there's an anxiety attack mentioned. it's only written out slightly, but please still be cautious. also there's a mention of throwing up! (both starts at "Donghyuck tended to get caught up in his imagination" and ends with the ♥̩͙♥̩̩̥͙♥̩͙ after that)  
> this is also very different from my other stories, which is good, ig, bc i think i really got better in writing stories. i hope you'll like it at least as much as i do.
> 
> (also, i basically projected my whole being into Hyuck, so yeah, there's that)  
> (and the lyrics popping up randomly in the story is from Youth - Daughter, btw. i recommend. strongly.)  
> (if you squint, you can see similarities to the universe of [The Dream Chaser](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19138753/chapters/45485395) from [taeyongseo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/taeyongseo/pseuds/taeyongseo), my absolute fav fanfic, i _recommend_. i didn't take any plots from it though, i promise!)

The clouds that were darkening the sky for the past couple of days were finally growling with the anticipated thunderstorm as Donghyuck stepped in front of his open window. The air was charged with the energy the clouds emitted over the course of their stay, making it nearly impossible to stay calm.

It was the night when Donghyuck watched a car roll up to the abandoned house opposite his own. It was the night when the new kid arrived.

Donghyuck has heard a lot about him already. The new family was the talk of the small town since they signed the contract a couple of weeks ago. Everyone was excited to get their boring routine mixed up with a breath of fresh air from the new minds still tainted from their life in the city.

Donghyuck watched the car doors open, a grey-haired boy seeming to be in his early twenties exited the driver's side while a black-haired boy seeming his own age stepped out of the blue Fiat on the other side. The bang that the closing of the black-haired boy's door created was accompanied with a loud bang coming from the gray clouds hanging above their heads, just before the first raindrop hit the concrete.

The new kid came with a bang and he most likely wouldn't leave without one as well.

* * *

**"And if you're still breathing, you're the lucky ones."**

Donghyuck sighed as he watched his flowers on the window sill withering with sad eyes, following a few sun yellow petals floating to the ground and making a mess on the floor. But he raised his gaze from the misery, tracing the outlines of his window before letting his view focus rather on the distance.

The blue Fiat was still proudly parked in the driveway of the house opposite of his. It was the day after the new family had moved in, but he had never seen as much as a trace of a shadow of the two brothers through the curtains despite already spending his whole day on his window sill, filling his head with the words of his favourite book while he warily watched the now not longer abandoned house in the corner of his eye.

Donghyuck didn't trust people from the city, especially those who decided to spend some years or maybe even the rest of their lives in this small town which has nothing to give but everything to take. After all, it took Donghyuck as much as two years to finally accept Jaemin in their group of friends when he moved from the city to the town when they were ten years old. (Weirdly, it was easier with Jeno, but he never found out just why.) So, he thinks, that speaks for itself.

It was not that he had any bad experience with people from the city - not at all, will you consider that Jaemin is now, five years later, one of his best friends and his parents always treated Donghyuck like a son of their own - but he didn't like change. At all.

Change was scary, because Donghyuck lived by routines and everything that mixed those routines up was a threat to Donghyuck. So to say that he despised the new kid only for the reason that everyone already loved him without even talking to him in the first place was an understatement. Donghyuck wasn't that petty. (Or maybe he was. It all depended on how you looked at it, really.)

He was about to turn back to his favourite book - it was called _Adios, Nirvana_ and was probably _the_ reason why Donghyuck got interested in pursuing music as a hobby in the first place - when he noticed movement in the corner of his eye. It was the entrance door of the house across from his as it opened with a creak that even Donghyuck heard resonating over the street all the way up to him. In his panic, he stumbled down from where he was sitting, his book lying long forgotten on the floor as he hoisted himself up on his knees to peek over the edge of the window to see the reason for the movement. It was the two Lee brothers exiting their door with a basket in their hands, slowly making their way to the house sitting on their right.

He didn't need to be a genius to figure out that they were starting their greeting round in their new neighbourhood and Donghyuck hissed in annoyance. The last thing he wanted to do today was talk to the fresh flesh from the city.

In his self-proclaimed misery, Donghyuck almost missed the two figures making their way towards his house, a happy chattering reaching his ears. But only almost, because the next moment Donghyuck disappeared from the window, clutching his book in his hands and against his chest and cowering down just under the big window, preparing for the ringing that should come any minute-

And then a loud, really annoying and high-pitched sound - Donghyuck hated the sound of their bell more than he hated pickles and, let me tell you, Donghyuck really _despised_ pickles - resounded in their old house and Donghyuck counted till three before he heard the clicking of the door opening, voices floating upstairs with the evil intention to disturb his peaceful tranquility. And then he counted till three again before he heard the soft voice of his mother calling his and his brother's name, probably to introduce them to their new neighbours.

Donghyuck cursed under his breath before he counted till three for the last time before his door burst open, a way too energetic Jisung peeking inside, searching for his older brother to drag downstairs because he definitely knew him way too well and leaving his room to greet people wasn't something Donghyuck would ever do voluntarily.

In a last way of desperation, Donghyuck panicky held his index finger to his lips while he shook his head and performed a kind of a cutting-through-your-neck hand gesture in Jisung's direction. And the thirteen years of bonding might actually have been useful, because his younger brother formed his mouth into an o-shape before quietly closing the door behind him just to jump down the stairs while screaming a "Mom, Donghyuck is sleeping!" from the top of his lungs. Donghyuck couldn't help himself but roll his eyes fondly at his brother before crawling towards his bedroom door to eavesdrop the conversation downstairs.

"...sorry, but i'll send him to come by in the next couple of days to welcome you." - Donghyuck already knew that he most definitely won't - "He is in Mark's age as well, so maybe he can show him around town if Mark wants?"

"Oh, if it's not too much of a bother? It'll surely be good for Mark to bond a bit with the kids his age", an even softer voice than the one of Donghyuck's mom answered, a cheerful undertone accompanying his words. Mark must feel really weird, because they were talking about the boy like he wasn't there at all. But it wasn't like Donghyuck cared. Because he most definitely _didn't._

"Ah, Donghyuck will be more than glad to do that, no worries!" - Donghyuck snorted at that while internally cursing the good spirit of his mom once again - "But where are my manners! Would you like to come inside? Some tea or coffee? It's still quite cold outside."

"Ah, that's very lovely of you, but I'm afraid I have to decline, we still have a lot of neighbours to greet. But I'll take you up on your offer another day, if you don't mind?", the voice now was colored by a sliver of uncertainty, but it still never lost the softness that was so welcoming.

"Of course not, I'd be more than happy! Come by whenever you have time, yeah?", Donghyuck's mom eagerly responded, always keen on meeting new faces and knowing more stories. She could be quite insatiable when it came to this, always was. Since she mainly stayed at home, watching the kids and caring for the house, she always searched for distractions to get her out of those four walls that seemed to suffocate her at times. But it was okay, Donghyuck thought, because his mother deserved to hear more from the world. Her eyes always shined so prettily whenever she got to know more, so it was okay, even if the information carrier was an intruder in Donghyuck's routine.

Donghyuck missed the rest of the conversation because he had heard everything he wanted, so he slid back to his window, peeking just over the window sill, just like he did before, to watch the Lee brothers heading towards another house. Donghyuck didn't get behind the system they followed, because the choices of the houses seemed more random than anything and Donghyuck shuddered at the thought, but it wasn't like he cared. Because he most definitely _didn't_.

But he definitely _did_ care for how the raven hair of the younger brother - _Mark_ , Donghyuck's brain usefully provided - reflected the few rays of sunlight that peeked through the thick blanket of clouds so _beautifully_ . Because it was unfair, really, how this boy not only was already loved by every single soul in this town after only one day, but also how he was just so _ethereal_ in a way that drew attention but never jealousy. So, Donghyuck swore to himself, for the sake of the town's sanity he had to be the one to save them from the new kid. Because Donghyuck wouldn't fall for the demon. Because, so it seemed, was Donghyuck the only sane one left in this town and he needed to keep this.

So, he decided, there's no other way to go but in a wide curve around the dangerous boy.

♥̩͙♥̩̩̥͙♥̩͙

**"We're the reckless, we're the wild youth."**

The muffins that the older brother of the Lee duo - his mom called him Taeyong so Donghyuck will just go with that - baked and brought by yesterday were, to Donghyuck's distaste, _delicious_ . But it just proved his theory of the new family having some kind of spell surrounding them that made them just perfect. At least kind of. Proving, he meant. Because the muffins weren't _that_ perfect. Or at least Donghyuck tried to convince himself, because he couldn't fall for them just like the rest of the town did.

At his train of thoughts he shockingly let the muffin in his hand drop to the floor like a lifeless body. Because maybe they were _poisoned_ and that was their secret.

Oh god, would Renjun hear his thoughts right now he'd probably slap his head while murmuring chinese insults his way - that Donghyuck didn't really want to know the meaning of - before disappointedly wandering off to search for Jeno. Because, granted, was Jeno - according to Renjun, at least - the only other sane person in their friend group. But Donghyuck didn't take it personally, because he knew that, sometimes, his imagination left reality just to plunge into one of his countless books hoarded in his room, never to be seen again. (Also, Renjun shouldn't be one to talk because he believed in _aliens_ and that was at least as ridiculous, would you ask Donghyuck.)

So Donghyuck wiped away the crumbs from the floor before making his way to the front door to visit Jaemin. Because Jaemin would definitely hear him out. At least he hoped.

"Mom, I'm going to Jaemin's!"

♥̩͙♥̩̩̥͙♥̩͙

"Sometimes I can't believe that you're fifteen years old because most of the time you act like you're ten."

A short pause before Jaemin seemed to reconsider his words.

"No, scratch that. That's still too old for you."

The few rays of sunshine seemed to have disappeared the moment the new kid stepped back inside his house, so Donghyuck was cursed to walk through the cold wind on his way to Jaemin's house, his beloved clouds not letting through anything that wasn't depressing to most citizens. But it was okay, because Jaemin's home was always too warm for their own good, anyway.

And, to be honest, Donghyuck loved the rain more than the sun, so the clouds came kind of in addition, but he didn't mind. He loved the way the world turned quiet whenever they appeared, how the leaves danced so gracefully in the wind. They also helped to cool him off because he tended to be rather hot-headed at times, but the clouds never failed to calm him down when not even his favourite book could.

"But Nana! You must admit, my concerns are rather valid, no?", Donghyuck whined, because when not even his fellow childish friend agreed to him, then Donghyuck surely must've gone insane.

"You're overreacting. Mark's a really sweet kid, you should give him a chance."

"Stop talking like my mom!”, Donghyuck gagged, “Also, how'd you know? You haven't spoken to him yet, have you?"

Jaemin threw him a judging gaze before he stood up to open his window, letting the fresh breeze and smell of petrichor inside his room. Jaemin loved the rain as much as Donghyuck did, when not even more.

"Actually, I have. He just came by yesterday evening with _delicious_ muffins that were definitely _not_ poisoned, by the way."

He slapped Donghyuck's head on his way back to his bed, plopping down into a comfortable position while he straightened his gaze onto Donghyuck again who was positioned in the study chair right in front of Jaemin's desk, spinning around like a little child.

"When I think about it, shouldn't you've met him already as well? Unless…", a scandalous gasp escaped the younger boy, "You hid from them? Donghyuck, you coward, oh my god!"

Donghyuck cowered down in his chair, looking up at Jaemin with big eyes. They were his secret weapon, because nobody could ever resist them. Except maybe Jaemin, because he was at least as evil as Donghyuck himself, which wasn't helping him in this situation.

"Shut up, he's possibly contagious, it was only for my own safety!"

"Oh, shut up yourself, do you even hear yourself speaking? Do I need to slap some rationality into your brain? Would that help?!", Jaemin snorted and Donghyuck knew his best friend well enough to know that he meant those words seriously. So he jumped up from his current position, squeaking a high pitched "no!" before bolting out of the bedroom door. Jaemin was closely following him and Donghyuck might not know the house as well as Jaemin did to escape, but he knew a place where he definitely would be safe. So, instead of running down the stairs and possibly out of the entrance door, he took a sharp left to reach for the bedroom door just diagonally opposite Jaemin's, ripping it open.

Jeno was sitting on his bed, his laptop in front of him on which he currently possibly hacked into his brother's phone or something similar; Donghyuck never really knew what Jeno was talking about, anyway.

Jeno was Jaemin's twin brother - and one quarter of their friend group - but they couldn't be more different. Would you look at them, you'd probably not even think that they were brothers at all, because Jeno was like the night, all secretive and calm and never to be unnerved, while Jaemin was like the day, all bright and sunshine and always the mood maker wherever he went.

So Jeno was something like a safe haven to Donghyuck - and to the rest of this damn town, really - because he might go to Jaemin when his imagination went haywire once again, but he always, without missing a beat, went to Jeno when he decided that it was time to come back to earth - and when he wanted to escape Jaemin's dirty grasp, which was currently the case.

So he jumped up on the bed, making Jeno slightly waver with the unexpected impact, before he hid behind the boy's back, only peeking over his right shoulder into Jaemin's direction, who was currently standing in the doorway, both hands on his hips.

Jeno didn't even look up at the commotion, because he never got unnerved or distracted, but he still started to pet Donghyuck's head in reassurance.

"What are you two up to this time?", he asked half-heartedly, only seeming to be in the present with half of his brain.

"Nana wants to whoop my ass for literally nothing!", Donghyuck whined again because, with Jeno, it _actually_ worked, not like with Jaemin.

"Don't listen to this brat, he's being a pain in the ass again!"

"I'm still older than you, so show some respect!"

"Your whiny ass doesn't seem like it deserves your demanded respect, though!"

"Oh shut up, Jaemin, like you're any better!"

"Listen, you little brat-!"

"That's enough", Jeno's calm voice interrupted their bickering, seeming rather annoyed at the disruption. He looked up, straightening his glasses before sighing deeply. "So tell me, what's this all about?"

And so Donghyuck retold his epiphanies to Jeno, hoping that, maybe, he would understand. At least you could hope, because Jeno's never one to disregard every single possibility thrown at him.

And Donghyuck needed allies in his fight, after all.

Because Mark Lee surely won't be an easy opponent.

♥̩͙♥̩̩̥͙♥̩͙

**"We're setting fire to our insides for fun."**

Jeno didn't believe him, but it was alright. Because Donghyuck knew he was right and he still had a little bit less than a week to prove exactly this before school started again.

But before he could start his search for evidence, he needed to get his mother off his back.

"Donghyuck, would you be so nice and finally greet our new neighbours? I already promised them you'd show Mark around."

It was two days after the new family brought over the muffins and Donghyuck slowly ran out of excuses. It was actually a pretty day, because the clouds seemed to have emptied their tear supply and continued their journey over the earth, dancing over the sky so weightlessly, Donghyuck wished he could be one of them. But now the sun was out of its hiding-place again and as much as Donghyuck liked the sun - he was a spring child after all - he despised the heat and aridity that came with it, especially in summer.

So Donghyuck sighed, because he knew that he couldn't win against his mum, so he grumbled something that distinctly sounded like an answer before he tramped over the threshold. But instead of heading towards the other side of the street where the Lee brothers lived, he turned to his right. Renjun's house was in the opposite direction of Jaemin's, but it was only a five minutes walk away as well - the advantages of living in a small town, Donghyuck supposed. He passed old grandma Park's house, greeting the lady sitting in her garden with a cheerful wave, before he arrived in front of the entrance door.

Donghyuck didn't ring the bell, because he knew that Renjun's bedroom window has a perfect view on the doorstep and he knew that Renjun never, and he really meant _never_ , missed it when someone was about to knock. So Donghyuck counted till three before the door was being pulled open, revealing a wary looking Renjun.

"Hi Renjun! Are Jisung and Chenle at home or have they already left for the skate park?"

"No, they're still here", Renjun mumbled, stepping aside to let Donghyuck in. It wasn't an unusual occurrence for Donghyuck to appear in front of Renjun's house because of Jisung, because Jisung tended to forget the existence of time whenever he was with Chenle and Donghyuck more often than once had to drag him back home when it was way past his curfew.

"They're in the garden. Good luck", and with a last pat on his shoulder, Renjun disappeared as fast as he had appeared, leaving Donghyuck alone on his way to the backyard. But he didn't get far, because halfway on the way a boy with rather long black hair came running his way, attaching himself to Donghyuck like a koala.

The black-haired boy was Chenle and Chenle was Jisung's best friend since, well, _forever_. They connected the instant their little but fat baby fingers intertwined the moment they spotted each other, lying side by side on a baby blanket on the floor, and seeming to never letting go since that day. Because their moms were friends and Donghyuck and Renjun were friends as well, so it only made sense for them to get along, too. It was practically in the genes of their families.

But Jisung and Chenle always were kind of different, because, as Donghyuck said, they never let go of each other's hands. And when Donghyuck said never, then he really meant _never_.

And, as far as he knew, they only had each other, at least he never got introduced to another person which was addressed as Jisung's friend, so it made sense again, you might think. But Donghyuck was always jealous of the way Chenle loved Jisung with such pure words and touches. And he was always jealous of the way Jisung got loved with such a content smile. But he never said anything, even when it was as clear as the sky in summer nights. (Maybe not the current ones, though, because they were pretty cloudy.) Because they were still young and didn't spare a thought at the concept of love yet. Heck, they were only _thirteen_ and they were dumb and oblivious, just like kids in their age tended to be. And they always had each other to love, so they never got to know the concept of feeling like there's a crucial part in their life missing. Because they had each other and they were still _young_ , but Donghyuck was sure that they'll spend the rest of their lives never letting go of each other's hands. They were the perfect example of soulmates, after all.

And because Jisung and Chenle were friends from the moment they took their first breath, was Donghyuck something like another older brother for Chenle as well. And Chenle had always so much love to give and Donghyuck never refused any love, so their bond was as strong as you'd expect it to be between two actual blood brothers. This didn't mean that his bond with Jisung wasn't at least as strong, but his younger brother was always so jealous and scared of losing, so when he saw Chenle hugging Donghyuck, he quickly grabbed Chenle's waist to pry him away from Donghyuck, hugging him from behind which elicited a soft giggle from Chenle.

Donghyuck felt the jealousy make its way upwards, but before he could grab it he led his mind back to his plan. Donghyuck never went out of the house without a plan, because he wasn't the most spontaneous type and he loved his routines more than anything, so he always prepared himself before doing something. (His friends always teased him about it, because it apparently made him look like an old grandpa, but he deliberately ignored them in favour of his sanity.)

"Hey, Jisungie, could you do me a favour and show Mark around town instead of me? You can even take Lele with you! Pretty please?" The only other person where his puppy eyes didn't work was Jisung, but it didn't stop Donghyuck from trying again every time.

"Depends…", a smirk made its way on Jisung's lips, "What do I get out of it?"

Donghyuck groaned because he should've known, his brother came after him after all and the first rule he taught him was to never do something without getting something in return.

But Donghyuck had a plan and his plans always included at least three escape routes and five bribing ideas.

"How about… I'll buy you every candy you want for two days?"

"Four days."

A groan.

"Okay yeah, four days-"

"And!" - this little devil - "Me and Lele can use your playstation for two weeks whenever we want."

Donghyuck seemed to contemplate for a couple of seconds, because his playstation was one of his most precious possessions and he barely let anyone else than himself near it, but Donghyuck was desperate.

"On one condition!", he threw a threatening glare into his brother's direction - who was, for the distaste of Donghyuck, still hugging Chenle and Chenle, this traitor, had his eyes closed as he played with Jisungs fingers; Donghyuck wanted to throw up - "Mom is not gonna find out about _anything_ of this, you hear me?"

"Copy that, captain!" Jisung even had the audacity to salute to Donghyuck before dragging Chenle out of the house by their intertwined hands, hopefully on the way to Mark's house.

With a sigh he made his way to Renjun's room, plopping down next to his friend on his bed who was way too occupied with his phone to even spare Donghyuck one tiny glance.

But Donghyuck wouldn't be Donghyuck wouldn't he let another deep sigh escape his lips to make himself acknowledged in the room which, sadly, never worked with Renjun anyway. But it didn't bother Donghyuck, because he knew Renjun acknowledged him in his own, quiet way and Donghyuck was content with that.

"I swear, Renjun, with this amount of stress I'll probably get bald at the age of sixteen."

♥̩͙♥̩̩̥͙♥̩͙

**"Well I've lost it all, I'm just a silhouette."**

So Donghyuck started following Mark around which, granted, wasn’t that hard of a task. Because Donghyuck was everything but a noob in this kind of business and Mark, that poor little boy, seemed way too oblivious for his own good, so it really wasn’t a hard task. At least the following around part, because Mark might’ve explored seemingly even the smallest and most insignificant corners and, on his way, he met seemingly every possible resident of this town, but Donghyuck didn’t get it. Because everything Mark did was just simply smile at them, sometimes more polite and other times more soft, but that was everything he did. And, still, whoever he encountered staggered away like a love-drunk fool, like you tended to see in all those rom-coms that Donghyuck’s mom loved to watch in the evening, when everything was done and she could finally relax.

And then, when he was just about to give up on the last day before school started, when he had followed Mark to the mall where the black-haired boy did everything that was the opposite of productive, Donghyuck stopped dead in his tracks, because he finally got it. At least he thought so. But it was a lead and that was everything Donghyuck needed, so he hastily made his way back to his neighbourhood while running through the rain. Because in his haste this morning he forgot to look at the sky for the weather forecast, but he should’ve known that rain will approach, because the clouds never left the sky for more than half a day since the new family arrived in town.

But Donghyuck loved the rain, so it was really no problem. Because the way the raindrops hit the street with a soft _Plop!_ like stones that fell down on asphalt and the way the world turned so quiet because people were too afraid or lazy to go out during this weather, it was everything Donghyuck needed. So he couldn’t help himself but to dance through the rain on his way, because Donghyuck loved to dance and he loved the rain, so that was everything he needed, really, to be happy.

♥̩͙♥̩̩̥͙♥̩͙

“It’s his smile, Jaemin, I swear! This must be his spell!”

Donghyuck bursted through Jaemin’s bedroom door with a _bang_ after Jaemin’s father let him in downstairs, not wanting to lose any time.

Jaemin, on the other hand, startled like a scared cat and fell from his bed with a loud thud, glaring up at the intruder.

“The heck do you want, Hyuck?”, Jaemin hissed while rubbing the side on which he fell onto with a pain contorted face, “And why are you dripping wet, are you insane? You’ll ruin my wooden floor! Get outta here and into the bathroom and only come back when you’re fully dry!”

Donghyuck only huffed with a pout, but did as Jaemin said and came back with two big towels enwrapping him. He chose to settle in the study chair because he still _was_ kind of wet and didn’t want to anger Jaemin even more, but he did so with an annoyed sigh.

“Nana, listen. I’ve followed Mark around-”

“You did exactly _what_?”

“Listen! So I followed him around because I wanted to see why everyone was so infatuated with him, but he never did anything that stood out to me but people still went away smiling like crazy-”

“Maybe, just maybe, Hyuck, did you ever consider that he isn’t doing anything at all?”

“No, Jaemin, because I’ve discovered his secret”, Donghyuck’s choice of tone took a more serious turn as he acted like he just solved humanity’s greatest riddle, “Only just today, I might add, which shows that he’s pretty good at hiding it, but I’m pretty good at finding out things I’m not supposed to as well and he probably didn’t consider _that_. But anyways, I want drum rolls please before I reveal it… again.”

And as much as Jaemin was annoyed with Donghyuck’s antics, he still complied with clapping his hands on his thighs to produce a kind of a drum roll sound and just by how happy Donghyuck looked because of it, it was worth it for Jaemin.

“And his secret iiiis… his smile!”

It was silent for a couple of moments before Jaemin broke into cackles, throwing himself backwards onto his bed to clutch his stomach. Donghyuck just stared at him speechless and a little bit like Jaemin just killed his cat - which, Donghyuck didn’t even _own_ a cat - before whining loudly for Jaemin to stop. He only succeeded after a couple of minutes, but it was good enough for him.

“You know, Hyuck, wouldn’t I know any better, I’d think you’re already having a huge ass _crush_ on Mark, with all your obsession and everything.”

Oh.

So that was the reason for Jaemin’s laughter.

It made Donghyuck blush, just thinking about it, but only because of _annoyance_ and definitely nothing else, because Donghyuck didn’t fall for the boy’s spell. He was the only sane one left in this town, after all.

“Jaemin, wouldn’t _I_ know any better, I’d think you’re full of bullshit. But I _do_ know better, so I _definitely_ know that you’re full of bullshit.”

“Oooh, the infamous phase of denial arrived! Wait, hold on a second, I gotta tell this Nono!” And with those last words Jaemin bolted out of his room to go to his twin brother, spreading dirty rumors like the liar he was. And just because of that Donghyuck decided that Jaemin’s bed was a way more comfortable place to sit on, and definitely a way better thing to soak up the still remaining wetness of his clothes. Because, yes, Donghyuck was _that_ petty.

♥̩͙♥̩̩̥͙♥̩͙

**"It was the flood that wrecked our home."**

School started like it did every year, with a lot of whines and groans and hesitant students spilling through the entrance door. But this year, there was a significant difference. Because this year a new kid walked through the corridors and you could feel it in the way the crowd parted around him, could hear it in the way the murmurs were carried around the corners. The last time that new students tainted the floors of this school was five years ago, when day and night arrived and left a great impact. This time, though, the impact seemed even more grave, because everyone was infatuated with Mark Lee. And Donghyuck was furious. Because everyone seemed to bow to the raven-haired boy as if he was some kind of god instead of a normal student like everyone else and _okay_ , maybe Donghyuck was exaggerating a _tiny_ bit, but it didn’t change the fact that Mark had something that made him just so _loved_.

And he was dangerous. He really was. Because his friends took a liking in the boy and the moment he stepped through the doors of Donghyuck’s classroom - because God seemed to hate him and even made Mark the same age as himself - to introduce himself, just to be dragged to their friend group’s row of tables in the back by an excited Jaemin, Donghyuck knew that Mark Lee slowly and quietly became a threat. Because the boy had a strong hammer and a sharp chisel hidden in his pockets, ready to stealthily break down the walls that Donghyuck built so carefully over the span of the years and Donghyuck just knew that he couldn’t let this happen.

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Donghyuck's group of friends hadn't always consisted of the four best friends like it had now. In fact, they once were less before becoming more, just to become less again. It might sound complicated at the moment, but it was really simple.

It all started in elementary school. Donghyuck was always a loner, because his brain tended to think a little different than the ones from the other children, so it was hard for him to fit in without feeling too uncomfortable. That's also the reason why he was the lonely kid that never left the corner in the kindergarten unless there was food involved.

But in elementary school, on the first day to be exact, a tall boy with an at least one head shorter boy hanging on his hand approached his table in the far back. The tall boy introduced himself as Yukhei while the shorter boy quietly mumbled his introduction as Renjun into Yukhei's back.

Yukhei explained to him that Renjun was his cousin - because the possibility of not being related to someone at least over ten turns was really, _really_ low in this small town - and that he rather kept to himself, actually just quite like Donghyuck, so Yukhei decided to introduce them to each other, and himself as well, of course.

It was actually the beginning of a great friendship. They were the infamous trio that everyone only grumbled about. Because as quiet as at least two of them might’ve been, the shenanigans that they brewed up in their little heads and the trouble that they caused were all the more irritating.

It all changed when they turned ten, though. You might think because they got older that their craving for trouble got less, but it was actually the new kids that moved in in Donghyuck's neighbourhood. They were the talk of the town, of course, because nothing exciting ever happened here, but even more because the new family had twins, a rarity that wasn't seen in this place as long as the elderly could remember.

But the twin brothers were like day and night, so opposite and still so similar that even the kids got interested in the new addition. Especially Renjun, the normally so quiet and disinterested Renjun got infatuated with the twin brothers, being drawn in by the sunshine personality of day and being kept by the calming aura of night.

So that was how their group of friends got two new members: Jaemin and Jeno.

Donghyuck needed some time till he finally accepted the change in their friend group's dynamic. It took him around one year for Jeno and one year more for Jaemin, to be exact. But it didn't matter anymore, because as soon as Donghyuck accepted the last one of the twin duo, these two quickly grew closer till they were inseparable, picture-book best friends you might even say.

And their friend group grew calmer, mainly because of the level-headed Jeno who took them back to earth when they wanted to reach for the stars again. And it was a breath of fresh air for the adults, at least kind of, because they didn’t want to admit it but they slowly grew tired before the angel of the night arrived to their rescue.

So their friend group lived and thrived till they turned fourteen. It was just one year ago, Donghyuck remembered, when the news of Yukhei moving away broke down on them. There were a lot of shedded tears, even so much that you could've filled a whole ocean with them, but it was okay, because Yukhei just moved into another town that was only two hours away. Still, this grave change in their friend group's dynamic threw Donghyuck off balance so immensely that he didn't leave his room for a week straight, only reading his precious books while he imagined himself into another universe, a universe where change didn't happen and where happy ends were the solution. But it wasn't the solution, it never was. And so, after one week, he accepted the banging on his door and let his friends fall into his room, embracing the group cuddle that was thrown at him.

So to say Donghyuck was unhappy that day when he walked into the cafeteria and saw Mark sitting next to Jeno on his friend's table at the end of the first school week was a grave understatement. Donghyuck was furious, he was _mad_ , but most of all of the bad feelings he felt bubbling in his chest, he felt _hopeless_.

Because the stable walls and roof of his self-built house of routine turned out to be not so stable after all.

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**"And you caused it."**

Donghyuck didn’t sit with his friends that day. In fact, he didn’t speak at all with his friends for the whole day afterwards, because even if he didn’t want to admit it because it was kind of - definitely - dumb and childish, but he was slightly heart-broken.

And Donghyuck still hasn't spoken to Mark as well despite the boy already being in town since two weeks. Donghyuck would even go as far as to say that he avoided the boy, his efforts rising as more time went by. He thought, maybe it wasn’t the smile and Mark actually had some magical aura surrounding him and that's why everyone loved him so much, so Donghyuck made sure to never get too close to the boy. Even when it seemed a little bit far fetched, you could never make too sure, right?

So he avoided the boy, and his friends as well whenever they seemed to cling onto the new kid too much for Donghyuck’s liking, successfully for another week - which would mark three successful weeks of star stickers in his calendar - before his friends had enough of him sulking and protesting like a child that didn’t get what it wanted. But, to be frank, Donghyuck kind of _was_ a child that didn’t get what it wanted, or maybe one that’s gotten way more than it _initially_ wanted. So his friends dragged him to their cafeteria table during lunch break, placing him right opposite of Mark and Donghyuck wanted to _throw up_. Because now all his efforts were for nothing. Because now he entered Mark Lee’s magical aura and he was scared of possibly not getting back out of it.

“Mark, this is Donghyuck. That is, if you didn’t already know. He can be a little peculiar, so don’t mind hi-”, Jaemin’s oh so _sweet_ introduction of Donghyuck was cut short by a pained yelp. Because Donghyuck might be _peculiar_ , to put it into his friend’s words, but he surely wouldn’t put up with his friend insulting him so shamelessly, so he gave Jaemin’s shin a strong kick before smiling sweetly at Mark. Out of the corner of his eye he noticed Jaemin glaring at him, daring him to try this once again, but Donghyuck ignored him. He had a Mark to avoid and a meal to eat, so he didn’t want any more distractions for his jumpy brain.

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It went like this for quite some time and those lunch breaks - and the hours of classes before and afterwards - probably represented the longest time Donghyuck went without speaking. It might even be a record, when Donghyuck thought about it.

Because even when his friends forced him to sit with them again - always opposite of Mark because his friends were little devils and seemingly loved to see Donghyuck suffer - they couldn’t force him to actually _interact_ and _talk_ with the new kid. Therefore four more weeks passed by rather quietly and unspectacularly, Donghyuck rather saving his energy instead of wasting it onto complaining about the raven-haired boy, but after some time even Donghyuck’s nerves were worn thin.

Because nobody ever addressed the elephant hanging over all of their heads, surely being noticed but deliberately being ignored in favour of trying not to scare the new kid.

And Donghyuck didn’t get it. Because just why was everyone treating Mark like he would break with one wrong word and that'd be equated with the figural end of the world? Mark was just as normal as the rest of this damn town, so why was everyone treating the new kid like he's some god-sent?

Donghyuck really didn't get it, but he wasn't even trying to in the first place. And so he took it upon himself to clear the questions.

"So, Mark, why are you living with your brother? Where are your parents?"

Donghyuck watched as everyone sitting at the cafeteria table around him gasped, shocked, like he just broke a silent agreement. But Donghyuck never was part of that agreement, or at least he thought so, because he'd surely remember would there ever have been something like that.

But Mark only smiled, one of those smiles that made old grandma's coo and girls faint, one where his face contorted into a soft expression, like Donghyuck didn't just ask one of those taboo-questions that adults always hushed about. Donghyuck hated it. He'd rather Mark would be mad at him than smile at him sweetly like that, because he didn't know how to deal with these kinds of reactions. Because he normally never really got them in the first place.

And Mark, despite everything, smiled. And how should they know? That the reason behind this sweet smile was the fact that Mark just heard Donghyuck's voice for the first time since he moved here? And Mark was already way too intrigued with this peculiar boy, but hearing this angelic voice just right next to him, escaping this boy's mouth, made Mark a goner. Because he wanted to hear more of it and he could already feel this insatiable hunger resurfacing, impossible to be stopped or at least ignored. This boy was dangerous, Mark thought, because he was unpredictable and just as peculiar as Jaemin tried to describe him as. But being peculiar didn’t necessarily mean to be weird or off-putting. Because being peculiar meant at least as interesting as troubling and Mark was all here for that.

A snort tore him out of his train of thoughts; he didn’t even notice slipping in the first place.

“Markieboo, what are you smiling so dumbly at? Did your brain finally give up? Is it not working no longer? Was my question too much for you?”, Donghyuck cackled.

It seemed like that one question had broken free a dam of a bottled waterfall of words, a never ending plethora of thoughts coming crashing down on unaware citizens, sweeping them away to never be seen again. Mark didn’t know if he should curse or smile even brighter. In the end, he just simply responded.

“My parents stayed back in the city, but me and my brother needed an escape, so we decided to move to this town, because it was everything we needed at the moment”, Mark answered so lightheartedly, like it wasn’t a totally big deal to let his parents behind at the age of _fifteen_ and to make a decision that brought possibly one of the biggest changes with it. Donghyuck could feel goose bumps forming on his arms at this thought, a shudder running down his back. How could people just deal with change so unconcernedly? Donghyuck wished he’d have this gift as well, but he hadn’t, so he abruptly stood up from his chair at the cafeteria table, grabbing the remnants of his lunch before hurriedly making his way towards the huge doors, dumping the food in one of the bins before disappearing through the exit.

Donghyuck tended to get caught up in his imagination and Renjun knew that, because Renjun knew him the longest out of everyone in their friend group. That's why he found the younger boy cowered in one of the bathroom stalls in the uppermost floor, counting his fingers to calm down. Donghyuck tended to get caught up in his imagination, so it was no surprise that Mark’s story threw him off track and into the deep shallows of his mind. Sometimes it was more severe, but this time Renjun only sat beside his childhood friend, embracing him in a warm hug while whispering sweet nothings into his ears.

Sometimes, Donghyuck got caught up in his imagination and he more than everyone hated how his mind worked in such an abnormal way.

He wanted to throw up, really, and so he did. And it felt so good to just get everything out of his system once in a while.

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**"My eyes are damp from the words you** **left."**

Mark avoided him for the rest of the week. Probably because he felt attacked, or perhaps even laughed at. Or maybe he just simply felt bad, because Donghyuck got caught in his mind because of him and that was _never_ a pretty experience. Though he doubted that his friends explained to Mark why Donghyuck disappeared so suddenly, because they _can be_ decent human beings sometimes. Or maybe they didn’t even get it themselves. Either way could Donghyuck save some energy, because his work was being carried out by another person and Donghyuck felt thankful.

At the beginning of the next week - on monday in the break between the first and second class, to be exact, because Donghyuck was never _not_ exact - Mark came up to him. And as much as Donghyuck wanted to run the other direction when he saw the raven-haired boy approaching him, he wasn’t inhumane and definitely _not_ that petty, so he stayed put and followed the movements of the new kid with his eyes, observing and calculating him, because Donghyuck never went unprepared and without a plan into something.

“Donghyuck, can we talk for a moment?”, Mark’s voice wasn’t as stable as it normally used to be, so Donghyuck was kind of confused, and thrown off. But he nodded and followed Mark to a more quiet place where they could at least understand their own thoughts.

“I don’t know what actually…”, he hesitated for a short moment, “What actually happened last week, because everyone refused to tell me” - Donghyuck mentally gave his friends a pat on the shoulder for that - “But I wanted to apologize, in case I’ve said something that hurt or confused you.”

Of course, Donghyuck should’ve known that that was the case Mark wanted to speak with him. He was the golden boy everyone loved not without reasons after all, so Donghyuck should’ve known that the oh so sweet new kid would apologize without even knowing what, or even _if_ , he did something wrong. Donghyuck fought his inner urge to roll his eyes at that, instead went with a nod of his head.

“Okay. Thank you.”

His voice rather emitted nonchalance and Mark was confused. Donghyuck could see it in the way he drew his eyebrows together in a frown and how his eyes swam with questions. Maybe he expected answers, or an apology back, Donghyuck really didn’t know because he didn’t know Mark long enough to get behind his way of thinking, but it wasn’t like Donghyuck cared. Because he most definitely _didn’t_.

So he just turned on his heels and walked to his initial destination, not without a farewell, though, of course.

“See you around, Markieboo!”

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Donghyuck wasn’t someone who necessarily held grudges, especially when it wasn’t even the other person’s fault anyway, so the incident with Mark was really no big deal for him and he’d rather he and everyone else would forget about it as fast as possible. But Mark was a special case and, to be frank, it _was_ quite amusing to watch. Because since that day of his apology, Mark seemed to treat Donghyuck like everyone else treated Mark. And, _really_ , it was quite interesting to observe.

Maybe it was because Mark was unsure if Donghyuck actually accepted his apology or just didn’t want to make a scene - which, _both_ were true, to be really exact - or if Donghyuck already plotted his murder in secret - which was only _kind of_ true, Donghyuck wasn’t _that_ petty, after all - but he treated Donghyuck like he could explode every second, and it was _really_ amusing, so Donghyuck let him.

It didn’t help that Donghyuck’s friends teased Mark about it every free second they could. Because two weeks after the incident, his friends decided that Mark was fun to hang around and invited him to their regular hangouts. Donghyuck kind of minded. And with kind of, he actually meant _extremely_ , but he felt bad for constantly blocking his friends from something, so he agreed, albeit rather hesitantly. But it was okay, because like this, the teasing of Mark got even more frequent and Donghyuck loved to see that blush of embarrassment bloom on Mark’s cheeks. Especially when the sun reflected itself so _beautifully_ in Mark’s raven hair like in the actual feathers of ravens and-

 _Okay_ , _that was enough_ . Donghyuck’s almost-slips got simultaneously more frequent with the teases thrown Mark’s way and he wanted to slap himself to snap out of it. He _definitely_ blamed it on the aura that surrounded Mark and because he was exposed to it more often because of the hangouts. Because before all this happened, before Mark constantly encircled him, Donghyuck was fine. So it must be the aura, because he couldn’t explain it any other way and he hated it when he didn’t understand such simple things.

His friends thought otherwise, though. And they showed it, sometimes more than Donghyuck appreciated.

“Mark, could you stop flirting with Donghyuck for a moment and come here? I’d appreciate your opinion as well.”

Sometimes Donghyuck wanted to slap Renjun, because for the amounts of teasing he received from him regarding his own vivid imagination, got Renjun a good portion of that as well. Because they weren’t _flirting_ . Especially not Donghyuck. But his friends sometimes tended to see things that weren’t there and he didn’t necessarily _hate_ it, but he didn’t like it either.

And Donghyuck didn’t want to be caught off guard, so most of the time he just went with the flow.

“Yeah, _Markieboo_ , we know that you like me too much, but you gotta pay our other friends some attention as well!” And it was worth it, because every time Donghyuck went with the flow, there was a huge blush spreading not only over Mark’s cheeks, but also over his ears and neck and Donghyuck lived for it. Because he _was_ kind of evil and sometimes other people’s suffering was his joy.

But it didn’t always go Donghyuck’s way either.

“As if you’re one to talk, Hyuckie, because don’t think I don’t see how you’re relishing in his attention, you two are so disgusting”, Jaemin clinked himself into the conversation, eliciting a loud shriek from Mark and a string of insults and excuses from Donghyuck.

Yeah, it didn’t always go Donghyuck’s way either, but it was okay, because - even when he didn't want to admit it - these hangouts were quite fun after all.

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**"From the perfect start to the finish line."**

Mark, to Donghyuck’s distaste, fitted pretty well into their group of friends, like the last missing puzzle piece that was lost for a long time but finally found and placed on its rightful place. Donghyuck still was hesitant, because he didn’t want it to feel like they replaced Yukhei, but after countless times of the other boy’s reassurances during their weekly video calls was Donghyuck finally far enough in his acceptance of the change that he felt comfortable enough around Mark Lee that he could fully be himself. And that was at least something, he thought. Because he probably wouldn’t get rid of that boy so fast anyway, so he could at least continue living his life without letting a new kid disturb his routines.

And time flew by like that without Donghyuck even noticing and they all turned sixteen one after another. It was like someone turned a switch, because they all changed a little bit after that. Not as noticeably, but Donghyuck never missed details like that, so he noticed. And he would lie would he claim that he still stayed the same, because even he himself changed. Donghyuck wasn't really fond of that, because he hated change, but it was okay because it wasn't that big and noticeable anyway, so he could deal with it.

It just irked him, the things that came with the change. Because suddenly his friends got more interested in the girls, and some in the boys as well, to the extent of actually dating them. Jaemin was the first one, of course. Nobody expected anything else, because Jaemin was just like that, so flirty and pretty that he made girls as well as boys swoon. So it wasn't long after his birthday when he introduced his first girlfriend to them. nothing much changed, though, and Donghyuck was grateful. Jaemin still stayed the same, just now maybe with a little bit less free time for him, but it was okay, he understood.

What irked him more than that, though, was the fact that he not only somewhere along the way forgot why exactly he avoided Mark Lee to begin with, but he as well seemed to slowly notice such little details that he never cared about before now. It actually started before Jaemin got his girlfriend, because Donghyuck was _still_ older than the twins and he liked to think that he was at least a _tiny_ bit more grown-up than them.

So he noticed those details and he hated it. Because might he have thought that Mark was ethereal before whenever the sun gave him that golden glow - because _damn_ , Donghyuck wasn't _blind_ after all - but now he noticed things like the way Mark's eyes lit up whenever he told them about something that he loved. Or the way his lips formed such a sweet smile whenever Donghyuck told something remotely funny and Donghyuck felt the blush slowly rising to his cheeks.

But he only knew the moment when Mark decided it was a good idea to wear a tight-fitting shirt where you could literally see _every_ muscle that moved whenever Mark turned an arm or his body and when Donghyuck's eyes automatically found their way to just these muscles without him even wanting to, that he needed to change something.

Because Donghyuck wasn't desperate, he was only _sixteen_ for God's sake, and he needed to snap out of whatever spell Mark had casted onto him as fast as possible. Because he couldn't allow that. He just _couldn't_.

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A new school year began and now Donghyuck had not only his group of friends in this school but also his little brother with his _best friend_ running around the corridors. It seemed more livelier now, Donghyuck thought, because those two always kind of succeeded in giving a place back the colors that it lost long ago.

Donghyuck also felt more confident now, walking through the corridors, because that made age to you, kind of. He might still be in puberty, but the shyness of the little child not knowing it’s way around was finally shaken off of him. And Mark, the boy that everyone still addressed as the new kid and that probably will forever be the new kid till another family will move into town, finally felt comfortable enough in school as well. Because, _slowly_ , the attention of everyone drifted off of him, because - at least after _one_ year - people started losing interest in him. Mark didn’t seem like he minded, though, because Donghyuck watched him flourish even more now, after he finally got enough room for himself. It was beautiful to watch, really, because Mark’s smile seemed to get even brighter now-

“Hyuckie, quit staring, Mark might actually notice your fat crush on him”, Jaemin interrupted his train of thoughts. He just suddenly appeared next to him, out of nowhere, jabbing his elbow into Donghyuck’s side, because Jaemin was just like that.

“Although, when I think about it, Mark wouldn’t even notice if someone tried to kill him, so please continue swooning over him. It’s quite entertaining.”

“Haha, Nana, you’re so funny. Next time I see how grossly sweet you are with your girlfriend, I'll remind you of your words.”

Because Donghyuck wouldn’t allow anyone assuming that he had a _crush_ on Mark. Because he definitely _didn’t_ . Mark was just… very pleasing for the eye and that’s everything that is to that. _Really_ . Because why should Donghyuck feel anything else for the disturbance that was Mark Lee? He would never, not even when they both were the last two people in this world. Which, Donghyuck didn’t hope this was _ever_ the case, because he most likely wouldn't survive that.

“Hey, Hyuck?”

Mark came jogging up to him while he was still deep in his thoughts, _again_ , and he could still catch Jaemin sneakily rushing away in the corner of his eye, but he wasn’t fast enough to capture his best friend by his wrist to hold him back, because confronting Mark Lee alone was definitely nothing that was on Donghyuck’s today’s to-do list.

“Yeah?” Donghyuck tried to sound absentminded enough to maybe, if he had enough luck, get away without Mark asking him whatever was currently on his mind. But Mark was oblivious and Donghyuck never had luck, because life _apparently_ hated him, so Donghyuck was screwed.

“I wondered if you, maybe…”, Mark averted his eyes and by the way he fidgeted with his fingers and drifted off like he was unsure how to phrase it, Donghyuck guessed he was nervous. Donghyuck didn’t get what he was nervous about, though, because it wasn’t like this was the first time they ever talked with each other. In fact, conversations between them two was becoming a more frequent occurrence lately and Donghyuck didn’t know what he should think of that.

It didn’t seem like Mark got used to those conversations like Donghyuck did, though, because he just kind of broke off in the middle of his sentence and Donghyuck raised his eyebrows in question.

“Spit it out Mark, I don’t have the whole day, I’m a busy man”, he chipped in and at least that seemed to lessen the tension in Mark’s shoulders, which wasn’t really what Donghyuck was trying to aim for, because it wasn’t like he cared. Because he definitely _didn’t_.

“I was just wondering if you, maybe, uhm, want to hang out at mine today? Like…”, he hesitated again for a moment before rushing out in a quiet mumble, “Like, just the two of us?”

And okay, maybe Donghyuck was _quite_ thankful that Jaemin escaped earlier on, because he probably wouldn’t survive through the amount of teasing that would’ve come with him as a witness of this conversation. Especially with the blush that spread on Donghyuck’s cheeks like crazy just after Mark left.

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**"And if you're in love, then you're the lucky one."**

They went home together, because their classes ended at the same time, and Donghyuck just quickly entered his house to let his mother know that he’ll be eating at Mark’s today before sprinting to the other side of the street again where Mark was already waiting for him.

Donghyuck had never been in Mark’s house before, because they usually hung out at Jaemin and Jeno’s and sometimes at Donghyuck’s or Renjun’s, but strangely never at Mark’s. Maybe it was because it was a habit of them, so they never questioned but only did. Nevertheless, he already got to know Mark’s older brother Taeyong before.

Taeyong was twentythree years old and cared for his little brother since they moved away from the city. According to Mark, Taeyong was everything to him and Donghyuck understood, because Taeyong was one of the most caring and nice people Donghyuck had ever met in his short life before. Taeyong also cooked for them today and Donghyuck kind of fell in love, because it was probably one of the most delicious things he ever had the pleasure to taste. And Taeyong gave them cookies and some orange juice to drink when they went to Mark’s room after lunch, so Donghyuck really understood why Mark loved his brother so much.

Mark’s house was rather simple, because it _was_ kind of old and in a bad state due to the long years of it being abandoned before, but they made the best out of it. It was decorated with the most random things, like a huge old vase that looked like it was stolen from a museum in the corner of the living room. Or a bookshelf opposite of the vase that was created out of some thicker and some thinner branches, being arranged in a way that made it look like a natural tree. Besides these and some smaller things there were a lot of plants as well, which made everything so much cozier and livelier. Donghyuck liked it.

Mark’s room was on the upper floor, so they went up the stairs. On the walls of the stairs, though, were a lot of pictures arranged in weird combinations, but they made Donghyuck kind of interested, so he stopped to get a better look at them. The pictures were from all kinds of years, because in some was Mark as a baby or as a little child, but there were also some where Mark was already about the age he was now. But what really caught his attention was the family picture, because it was the only one where his parents were in. It was kind of weird, so Donghyuck turned towards Mark who just came back from putting down the cookies and the juice in his room.

“Mark, why did you and Taeyong really move away from the city without your parents?”

It was a dangerous territory and Donghyuck knew that, but his curiosity never failed to override the fear of doing or saying something wrong. He thought it was a curse, sometimes, but his friends always called it a blessing in disguise.

“Uh…”, Mark felt kind of uncomfortable. Donghyuck could see it in his posture, the way his shoulders raised in an attempt to make himself smaller. Donghyuck felt kind of bad seeing this, but he had no time to apologize because Mark set onto answering shortly after.

“It’s kind of complicated, I guess?”, he took a couple of steps till he stood behind Donghyuck, staring over Donghyuck’s shoulder onto the family picture, “My parents are well-known CEOs, you know?” - Donghyuck definitely didn’t expect that, _at all_ \- “And they’re always extremely busy, always were. They never had time for me and Taeyong, so Taeyong made it his duty to care for me and raise me when our parents couldn’t. That’s why I’m looking up to him so much as well.”

Mark took a deep breath, a low chuckle escaping his lips before he continued. “Of course we had a nanny, but I never really liked her and made her job kind of a living hell” - Donghyuck actually couldn’t imagine this; Mark, the golden boy that everyone loved, doing _such_? - “And it was always so hectic as well, you know? With all the galas and dinners me and Taeyong always got dragged to, just so that our parents could show us off. At one point it got too much. The stress, the twinkles, the snobby adults. It wasn’t really a place I could see myself in any longer and my brother agreed to escape with me. Of course he did, he’d probably follow me wherever I'd decide to go.” There was a fondness in Mark’s voice that Donghyuck never heard escaping the boy’s lips before. And when he turned around to be face to face with the raven-haired boy, Donghyuck could make out a shimmer in Mark’s eyes and Donghyuck didn’t know if it was because of oncoming tears or raw emotions, but he took Mark’s hand in his on impulse either way. Mark smiled softly at him as an answer before continuing once again.

“I didn’t lie back then, when I told you all that we needed an escape and that this town was the perfect place for that. Because it never saw the hectic life of a big city before. And most of all: nobody here probably knew us, who we were, who our parents are. So it was perfect. To start anew, I mean. And I think it was a good decision”, he hesitated for a moment before squeezing Donghyuck’s hand in his and finally locking eyes with him, continuing, “No, that’s not right. I’m _sure_ that that was a good decision.”

Donghyuck was speechless. And that wasn’t a regular occurrence, because normally Donghyuck always knew what to say in certain situations. But the way Mark’s eyes looked into his own so deeply, so happily, made Donghyuck speechless so easily. So he only turned around, tugging Mark along on their intertwined hands towards the boy’s room, because he wouldn’t know what to do otherwise.

Mark went along, settling down on his bed and pulling Donghyuck next to him. And then they talked. And laughed. And sometimes they kept silent, but it was never uncomfortable. And somewhere along the way, Donghyuck’s head landed in Mark’s lap and Mark ran his fingers through Donghyuck’s hair and Donghyuck thought, softly, this must be how heaven felt like.

Hanging out with Mark alone wasn’t quite as bad as Donghyuck imagined, because Mark tended to be rather quiet and let the others speak and joke during their group hangouts. This time, though, Mark seemed to finally release all the thoughts he kept captured in his mind, because he seemed to never stop talking. And normally Donghyuck would be annoyed, because people that never shut up got on his nerves quite quickly, but this time Donghyuck strangely didn’t mind. Because Mark didn’t just talk, without context or thoughts but with only shallow words, because Mark talked with reasons and pictures and everything bright and vivid. Donghyuck loved the way Mark made his words spring to life just like that, so that they jumped over fences and through bushes and made everything just so _colorful_.

He could get used to these pictures, Donghyuck thought. Because being caught up in your mind was never pretty. But Donghyuck wouldn’t mind anymore, would his mind be filled with Mark’s words like it was now. Because they created such beautiful places that not even Donghyuck’s imagination could.

And Donghyuck loved it.

♥̩͙♥̩̩̥͙♥̩͙

**"Destroy the middle, it's a waste of time."**

Donghyuck had his peace for two days. And it was kind of foolish of him to think that it would stay this way, because he should’ve known better by now.

Because two days later, Jaemin approached Donghyuck. And by the shit-eating grin on his best friend's lips he should've known that this won't end with a Donghyuck-friendly result. Because it was Na Jaemin and Na Jaemin was _always_ up to something.

"Guess what I just found out this morning, Hyuckie?"

And Donghyuck was right. Because, apparently, Jaemin's mom was part of a gardening club that met every Thursday afternoon. And, apparently, old grandma Park was part of that gardening club as well. And old grandma Park was known for her knowledge of every single gossip that went around in this small town, _especially_ the one that came from her cooking club that met every Wednesday afternoon, in which Mark's brother - Taeyong - unfortunately was a member of.

"And my mom told me that old grandma Park told her that Taeyong always complained that Mark was gushing about you non-stop since he first saw you, so he was so glad that he finally did something about his crush, and you know what that was?"

Of course Donghyuck did, because he was a part of that after all. But he let his dramatic ass of a friend his time of the moment, because he wasn't such an asshole like Na Jaemin was.

"He told her that, _apparently_ , Mark invited you to his home. _Alone_ " - like Donghyuck and Jaemin never had met alone at one of their homes before, but Donghyuck suppressed an annoyed eye-roll - "Like a full on _date_ ! So, tell me, Hyuckie, what _happened_ and _why haven't you told us_?"

"Wait, are we really gonna ignore the fact that Nana just said that Mark was always gushing about Hyuck since the _beginning_?", Renjun suddenly appeared behind Donghyuck and Donghyuck almost died of a heart attack right then and there.

"Or the fact that Mark apparently has a _crush_ on Hyuck?!", Jeno appeared on Donghyuck's other side, looking at least as distressed as Donghyuck felt at the moment and Donghyuck got even more confused by every minute going by.

"Oh shut up, Nono, that's such old news. Everyone knew that already ten months ago!"

"Not everyone is as perceptive as you, though, Nana!"

"Maybe you could be would you abandon your laptop and come out of your cave once in a while!"

"At least I don't have to always be out and about to feel less lonely!"

"Oh shut up, you little dwarf-"

"We're the same height?!"

And _that_ was the cue for Donghyuck to slowly backtrack before quietly disappearing from between the twin brothers. Because it never ended pretty when day and night ended up clashing. And because Donghyuck _really_ didn't want to retell the happenings during his and Mark's... _hangout_. Because Donghyuck knew that he'd surely blush and he wasn't ready to be the victim of his friends full blown teasing yet. Also, as selfish as it may sound, but Donghyuck kind of wanted to… keep these moments just between Mark and himself.

So he rather disappeared, because that was the thing that he was the best at, after all.

♥̩͙♥̩̩̥͙♥̩͙

Donghyuck actually knew of Mark’s crush on him.

It was just like Jaemin said - everyone already knew it ten months ago. Except Jeno, apparently. Donghyuck just never did anything about it. Okay, _maybe_ he sometimes used it to his advantage, but who could blame him? Mark was way too pure and dense to be walking on this world without protection, really. So it wasn’t Donghyuck’s fault. And it wasn’t like he cared about the new kid. Because he definitely _didn’t_. so it was just a logical reaction of Donghyuck’s, to use this information for himself. And it wasn’t like he was the only one that did it, because his friends used it to tease Mark till no end as well. (Donghyuck didn’t get how Mark still voluntarily hung out with them. He wouldn’t have would he’ve been Mark.)

Besides, Donghyuck didn’t believe that Mark would crush on him for long. Because Donghyuck wasn’t _dumb_ . He understood that Mark’s fascination just came from the fact that Donghyuck was the only one that didn’t swarm Mark whenever he stepped into a public place. Or that talked to him. So it was understandable. Donghyuck _understood_ . Because he may be peculiar, but he wasn’t _dumb_. So Donghyuck didn’t do anything about Mark’s crush, because it wasn’t like he cared or reciprocated his feelings, so there was no use in wasting his time and energy on thinking about it.

Donghyuck didn’t consider the other path next to the Mark-will-lose-his-interest-anyway one, though. Because Donghyuck never thought that he himself would stoop to the same level as his friends’ and actually develop _feelings_ . _For the new kid. He_ didn’t know how it happened, because it just did, really. And Donghyuck needed to accept that, sometimes, things just happen without his permission. That didn’t mean that he wasn’t allowed to just ignore it. Or sulk over it. So he did.

And so that’s how he ended up at their friend group’s cafeteria table, picking at his food because his appetite was more than just ruined.

It was the lunch break, just a couple of hours after Jaemin confronted him with Mark and Donghyuck’s apparent _date_ . Donghyuck had known that Jaemin would most likely confront him again, even when he had succeeded in escaping earlier on, but he could still _dream_. But it was no use, because as soon as he set his food tray down opposite of Mark’s - it became kind of a routine for Donghyuck and who was he to change his routines? - and sat himself down comfortably as well, Jaemin opened his mouth. Donghyuck was too annoyed to hold back the eye roll that came as an answer, but Jaemin didn’t seem to care. or he didn’t notice. But Donghyuck didn’t care, anyways.

“So, Mark, how was your _date_ with _Hyuckie_?” Jaemin definitely didn’t do a good job in concealing the mischief dripping from his voice, but Donghyuck doubted that he even tried in the first place.

Mark visibly slid down in his chair, his gaze flicking to Donghyuck for a second before settling back onto Jaemin. Mark was nervous. Donghyuck saw it in the way Mark started playing with his fingers, a nervous tick of his. Donghyuck didn’t know if Mark was even aware of it, but it was adorable, so he never pointed it out to the boy to not risk anything.

Donghyuck also guessed Mark was kind of uncomfortable by the way he tried to make himself smaller, shoulders raised in his best attempt. Donghyuck didn’t know why Mark reacted this way, because Jaemin’s teasing hasn’t even started yet, but maybe Donghyuck actually _did_ care because he kind of wanted to ease the tension out of the boy.

“It was… great? Uh, yeah. It was great”, Mark responded quietly. It was hard to understand him, his words almost drowning in the static murmur floating through the cafeteria, but his friends still did. Understand him, he meant. because Donghyuck could see it in Jaemin’s reaction, so he knew.

“Only great? Come on, Mark, tell us the juicy stuff!”, Renjun jumped in as well, his fingers tapping a steady rhythm on the table. Mark’s mouth opened for a second, just to be closed again a second later. His eyes flickered to Donghyuck once again, a question in his eyes that Donghyuck couldn’t decipher.

“We did just… talk?”, Mark’s voice sounded unsure, like he wasn’t a part of the hangout himself and Jaemin quietly snickered into his hand. Donghyuck slowly got irritated.

“Come on, Mark, don’t be shy. Tell us, is Hyuckie a good kisser?”, Jaemin threw into the conversation and okay, maybe Donghyuck simply just had a bad day, so it was _understandable_ , but he had enough. Because, sometimes, his friends were just _too much_.

A loud bang resonated through the cafeteria. Not loud enough to draw the attention from the whole student body towards their table, but loud enough to snap his friends out of whatever stupor they got themselves into once again. Donghyuck was standing at his place, both his hands pressed against the surface of their table and a frown adorning his face. Donghyuck was unhappy and his friends noticed, because they already knew him long enough after all, so they stayed silent.

“That's enough”, he hissed. And then Donghyuck was gone.

♥̩͙♥̩̩̥͙♥̩͙

**"One day we'll reveal the truth."**

It was raining outside when Mark found Donghyuck sitting under the tree on the lawn behind the school. It was the first day in weeks - or was it even months? - that heavy clouds covered the normally beautiful sky and Mark got worried. Because it was the _first time_ in an _eternity_ that raindrops hit the ground in a steady rhythm, making the world go silent.

Donghyuck sat with his legs bent, his arms encircling his legs, seeming to hold himself together, and his chin resting on one of his knees. It was the first time Mark has seen Donghyuck like this and the fact that the rain was steadily hitting the ground around him didn’t make it any better. So he slowly approached the boy and sat beside him and one of his arms found their way around the cowering form of the boy, a pitiful attempt in trying to comfort Donghyuck, because Mark was never good with words. Has never been.

Donghyuck loved the rain. He really did, because it comforted him more than his favourite book ever could. People never understood, though. So they always left him alone in the rain, sometimes mistaking the streaks of water on his face for tears, but still never coming back. Because humans hated the rain. At least Donghyuck believed that they did, because they never came for him, dancing in the rain.

Mark was different.

Donghyuck hated it, because he tried so hard. He _really did_ . Because he hated change and Mark was the epitome of it. He really tried to stay away from him, because change never brought something good with it and Donghyuck despised it. But as time went by, as they themselves changed and as things happened one after another, Donghyuck realised. He _realised_ . Because Mark emitted so much _warmth_ and maybe, sometimes, change wasn’t so bad after all. Because it brought Donghyuck Mark. And as much as Donghyuck tried to lie to himself - because, trust him, he was _excellent_ at this - he couldn’t. Because Donghyuck wasn’t _dumb_ . Because Donghyuck finally _realised_.

“You know, I couldn’t stand you in the first couple of months”, Donghyuck whispered, raising his head to lay it down onto Mark’s shoulder, getting more comfortable. Mark hummed softly, showing that he listened. Donghyuck continued.

“Everyone loved you so much. And for _what_ ? They didn’t even know you! They just loved the _idea_ of you and it drove me so _mad_ . Because people could be so _dumb_ sometimes.” Donghyuck chuckled softly, because he shouldn’t be one to talk. Despite himself always claiming that he wasn’t dumb, he actually still kind of _was_ as well.

“You brought so much change in my little bubble and, in case you didn’t already figure it out by yourself, but I _hate_ change”, Donghyuck hesitated, before closing his eyes, humming in disapproval, “No wait, that’s not right. I don’t hate it. I’m just so… _scared_ of it?” - Donghyuck could feel the arm around his shoulders tighten at his words and Donghyuck smiled to himself - “It’s because I’m so overwhelmed with life, you know? I was always kind of different from the rest of the kids my age and the fact that I never knew how to handle normal everyday situations without a plan or routine made me just all the more scared. So that’s why I despised you. Back then, I mean. Because you destroyed the routine I tried to steady for so long-”, Donghyuck interrupted himself as a raindrop hit him on his nose, grounding him again before he completely slipped over into his mind. He exhaled shakily before opening his eyes again and raising his head from Mark’s shoulder: “...I’m sorry, I was rambling.”

Mark, despite everything, just smiled. He was never good with words, but he was always all the more good with actions. So he let go of Donghyuck’s shoulders, facing the boy beside him fully and laying his hands onto Donghyuck’s cheeks. Donghyuck looked at Mark in surprise, a dozen of questions swimming in the deep brown of his eyes, but Mark ignored them. At least Donghyuck thought so, because Mark just looked at him like that, with so much emotions floating around him, like he couldn’t contain them anymore so he let them free. And then Mark leaned in and placed a soft kiss on Donghyuck’s forehead and Donghyuck wanted to cry. Because just in that moment, he felt so much. And he couldn’t handle it, but it wasn’t bad. Because Mark held him together just like that and Donghyuck smiled, so brightly.

“It’s okay, Hyuck. I’ll always be listening, so please never hold back”, Mark said and there was so much love in his words that Donghyuck couldn’t grasp. So he just leaned forward, wrapping his arms around Mark and pulling him into a hug so warm. Donghyuck hoped Mark would understand. But Mark always did, in the end, in his own way, so Donghyuck never worried. Because Mark would _understand_.

♥̩͙♥̩̩̥͙♥̩͙

And without them noticing, time went by like that. And the leaves covering the ground around them slowly rotted away, their remnants getting covered by snow and the snow melting again, freeing the beginnings of a new life covering the ground, letting spring arrive. Weeks and months flew by and, for once, Donghyuck didn’t seem to mind.

Because soon it came the time for them all to turn seventeen, one after another, and nothing much changed. People came and went in their lives, his friends getting into relationships and letting their loved ones go again, but Donghyuck didn’t mind, because the only people that really mattered to him stayed. So he was happy. He was content. And that was everything that mattered.

“I still don’t get it, though.” Jisung was lying in front of him, they both lazing around on Donghyuck’s bed after a stressful day of a family get-together. His head dangled down from the bed and Jisung made some weird noises before he sat up to face Donghyuck who was leaning against the wall covered in polaroid pictures. Donghyuck cocked his head in question, looking at Jisung with a frown.

“What don’t you get?”

“Why you and Mark still aren’t dating, of course!” Like it was the most obvious thing in this world. Because they definitely were just talking about Donghyuck’s love life and not about the amount of sweets aunt Jieun always spoiled them with. Donghyuck sighed.

“I thought we already elaborated this, Jisung.”

“I still don’t get it, though”, Jisung repeated. Donghyuck was tired.

“Why are _you_ and _Chenle_ still not dating?”, Donghyuck fired back and Jisung covered his cheeks, which were turning red in embarrassment, with his hands, a pout evident on his lips.

“Because why should we!”

“ _No_ , Jisungie, because why should you _not_ . I could give you _that talk_ again, but we both know this won’t end pretty, so you better shut your mouth before I’ll make it shut up-”

A theatric gasp.

“That was a threat!”

Then a shuffling of the bedsheets before two feet met the bedroom floor and shuffled out the door.

“Mom! Donghyuck just threatened me!”

Donghyuck sighed.

♥̩͙♥̩̩̥͙♥̩͙

**"Chasing visions of our futures."**

A lanky figure plopped down next to Donghyuck at their cafeteria table as he was just about to start eating his delicious looking vegan sandwich (Donghyuck actually was looking forward to eating it the whole day already), before the figure snatched it out of his hands. With an annoyed frown Donghyuck turned his head to lock eyes with Jaemin’s who were eyeing the sandwich suspiciously.

“Nana, what the hell? I wanted to eat that!” A loud rumble accompanied Donghyuck’s exclamation and he looked at Jaemin with raised eyebrows that tried to say something along the lines of _“See?”._ Jaemin, though, seemed to just ignore it.

“How you can get full and satisfied from that bunny food is once again beyond me, but whatever”, Jamin reprimanded and threw the sandwich back onto Donghyuck’s plate, who just frowned disgruntled.

“ _Anyway_! That’s not what I came here for!”, Jaemin’s choice of tone took a more theatric turn as he raised his hands into the air, “Hyuckie, listen to me closely, please!”

“Just spit it out already or I’ll leave”, Donghyuck murmured but was once again ignored. He sighed.

“So… _Guess_ who I saw yesterday at the skating rink who was clearly on a date?”, once again a theatric pause floated between them and wouldn’t Donghyuck have already known Jaemin for almost seven years now, he would’ve thought that he actually needed to guess, but Donghyuck knew better by now. So he waited, till Jaemin’s voice filled the quiet between them again.

“You and Mark!” Jaemin gazed at him as if he wanted some kind of reward for his discovery, but Donghyuck only snorted.

“Okay, first of all, _Nana_ , it’s getting slowly suspicious that you see us at _nearly every_ _date_ -”

“ _Aha_! So you’re finally admitting that they’re dates!”

A sigh.

“Of course? What else would they’ve been?”

Jaemin set on to answer but was interrupted by another lanky figure plopping down opposite of them and Donghyuck once again thanked the gods for Jeno’s existence.

“What would’ve been what?”, Jeno asked only half-heartedly, rather more focused on his food in front of him.

“Nono! Donghyuck finally admitted that his hangouts with Mark are full on _dates_!”

“Isn’t that old news already? I thought they already admitted that months ago…”

“Oh shut up, since when are _you_ up-to-date with life?”

“Listen, you-”

“ _Guys_ , tone it down a bit!” Mark suddenly appeared behind Donghyuck, interrupting the fight that would’ve inevitably followed after their conversation with a stern voice. Sometimes, it seemed like Mark was the only one who could hold the bickering of their friend group at bay. (Especially when Renjun, bless his tired soul, once again abandoned them with an annoyed and slightly mad growl.) Donghyuck sighed in relief, turning back his head so he could look at Mark with a bright smile.

“Thank you, Markieboo, I don’t think I would’ve survived that today.”

Mark only smiled at him in answer and threaded his fingers through Donghyuck’s locks before taking a seat next to Jeno, who was by now fully occupied with the task of eating.

The cafeteria seemed to slowly quieten down as everyone settled down on their places and concentrated themselves onto eating their lunch and Donghyuck took a deep breath, finally able to concentrate more onto the things that are close to him instead of being distracted by the voices floating around the huge room.

“Where’s Renjun?”, Jeno asked after he finally raised his eyes up from his lunch, looking around confused after taking in his surroundings.

“He’s somewhere with his boyfriend, doing god knows what things. I saw them exiting the school building before I came here”, Mark murmured with a full mouth, receiving a disgusted look from Donghyuck opposite of him.

“Ooh, apropos boyfriend, that reminds me of what Hyuckie and I were talking about before you two interrupted us so rudely!” Jaemin’s face decorated a suspicious smirk and Donghyuck was about to get up to escape whatever Jaemin’s mind came up with this time, but a firm grasp on his shoulder pushed him back down onto his seat. Donghyuck huffed in annoyance, crossing his arms in front of him like a petulant child.

“We actually discussed your _dates_ , Mark!”

“...what about them?”

Jaemin pouted, as if he couldn’t believe that Mark just asked that, as if Jaemin’s trains of thoughts were absolutely understandable and comprehensible for a normal human being.

“You know, Mark, you and Hyuckie here actually reached your twentieth date yesterday!”

“Let’s just pretend that it isn’t totally creepy that you kept count on them-”

“-wait, how do you even know of every single one of them-?”

Jaemin hushed them in annoyance, his index finger pressed against his lips as if to show a child that it has to be quiet. Donghyuck kind of felt ridiculous at that moment.

“That all is beside the point, children”, - yeah, he definitely was pretending to hush a child just now -, “The point is!”, Jaemin and his dramatic pauses, Donghyuck actually considered shoving a leaflet of the school’s theater club into his face if he didn’t stop with them soon, “You two have been going on _twenty_ dates for the past _six months_ now, so let me ask you two: When is it going to be official?”

“Uhm…”, Mark hesitated for a bit before locking eyes with Donghyuck to ask for help, but Donghyuck just lowered his head as if to say that Mark had to deal with that on his own. Donghyuck was too tired for something like this right now, so he directed his attention back to his vegan sandwich, finally being able to taste it with a satisfied hum.

Mark, on the other hand, started to play with his fingers again, his nervous tick getting the best of him as he searched for a way out.

The truth is, it was actually not Mark’s fault that they had yet to cover themselves with the label of boyfriends, because Mark was simply waiting for Donghyuck’s sign that it was okay, that he was ready. So Donghyuck felt kind of bad at that moment. But only _kind of_ , because seeing Mark splutter for an answer with from embarrassment painted red cheeks was still one of Donghyuck’s most favourite views till now.

At the end, though, the guilt defeated his hunger, because Donghyuck joined the conversation - if you could even call this Jaemin-monologue that - again with a frown.

“Why do you even _care_ , Nana?”

Jaemin's eyes flitted from Mark’s embarrassed figure to Donghyuck’s tiredly slumped one, one eyebrow raised in question. So Donghyuck elaborated.

“It’s not like _you_ are part of this affair, so why do you care? You should focus on something else that actually concerns you like, I don’t know, maybe your own currently bleak love life? You need to learn to let people live by their own pace, not by yours, you know?”

Jaemin visibly deflated at that.

“I just want to see you happy, Hyuck…”

Donghyuck couldn’t help the soft smile creeping onto his face as he eyed his best friend. He knew Jaemin just wanted the best for him, so he placed a comforting hand on Jaemin’s own which was resting on the cafeteria table, intertwining their fingers.

“Trust me, Nana, I’m _really_ happy with how things are at the moment.”

♥̩͙♥̩̩̥͙♥̩͙

**"Our minds are troubled by the emptiness."**

Donghyuck's father wasn't at home often, because he had a hard job which demanded of him to travel to other cities or even countries pretty often. But it was a well-paying job and it secured the lives of his family and that was everything Donghyuck's father ever wanted.

Because he really loved his family, so whenever he was at home once in a blue moon, he tried to spend as much time as possible with them.

And it was one of those nights when Donghyuck cuddled up to him on the couch, the running TV in front of them providing comforting background noises, a pleading gaze capturing him before Donghyuck asked for advice.

“Dad? How did you know that mom was the right one for you?”

Donghyuck always had problems with understanding himself and his dad knew. His dad _knew_ , so he heaved his son onto his lap, encircling him with both hands while Donghyuck rested his head on his dad’s chest, listening to the steady heartbeat that always calmed him down whenever he needed it.

“Love is something complex”, his dad started in a soft voice, his chest vibrating comfortingly, “And it’s different for everyone, which can make it scary at times. I understand, because I was scared as well when I met your mom. Scared of what the future might bring, scared of what feelings I discovered during that time.”

Donghyuck closed his eyes, trying to absorb every single word that left his dad’s lips, marking them in his mind. Because his dad always knew what to say, always knew the right words that helped.

“Everyone tells me that I’ll just know when the time comes…”, Donghyuck murmured hopelessly, “But I don’t and I’m so confused.”

“It’s okay, Donghyuck, you don’t need to know, you’re still so young. Besides, how should you know how love feels like when you never have felt it before? It’s a little bit like children that never fell onto their knees can’t describe how pain feels for them. Love is something you need to experience first before being able to feel sure of it. That’s why we’re here to help you.”

There’s a comfortable lull in the conversation as Donghyuck’s dad started caressing his son’s back, only being filled by unintelligible voices that their old TV emitted.

“Loving a human is kind of like loving your favourite book as well, you know? So try to recall the feeling whenever the excitement of starting it anew gets the best of you, when your heart clenches in such a comforting way, when you feel like you can’t express the feeling residing inside of you without being scared of not giving it enough justice. Loving a human is just like that, but let me approach this differently.”

Donghyuck’s dad heaved Donghyuck into his arms, standing up and making his way towards the backdoor, carefully stepping over the threshold and sitting down again on the steps leading down into their garden, angling his head towards the sky which is adorned by thousands of shining stars.

“Donghyuck, raise your head and look up at the stars. Tell me, who do you wish next to you when you look at them, when your head is just a potpourri of thoughts of _What if_ ’s? Who do you wish you could share your deepest fears and wishes with?”

Donghyuck raised his head up from his dad’s chest, momentarily missing the warmth that came with it but nonetheless observing the stars shining down on them, thinking of how many stories and wishes of how many different people they must keep in their memories. Donghyuck wished his friends were beside him in that moment, sharing warmth while exchanging stories of their deepest thoughts. But out of all of them, he just wished from one person that they could hold Donghyuck in their arms while doing so and Donghyuck _understood_.

“Because remember, before being your lover, before being your partner, most of all they are your friend.”

And, Donghyuck realised, he didn’t mind anymore when just that person would see him in his most vulnerable state. Because he trusted them. Not only as a friend with his deepest wishes and desires, but also as a lover with his fragile heart.

* * *

The clouds that were darkening the sky for the past couple of days were finally growling with the anticipated thunderstorm as Donghyuck stepped in front of his entrance door. The air was charged with the energy the clouds emitted over the course of their stay, making it nearly impossible to stay calm.

It was the night when Donghyuck watched a car roll up to the no longer abandoned house opposite his own. It was the night when Donghyuck decided that it was time.

With fast steps he crossed the road, approaching the two Lee brothers who were getting out of the car with a big smile, turning to Mark to hug him tightly.

“Hi, Donghyuck. What’s up?”, Taeyong greeted him while struggling to lock the blue Fiat with a frown (It was time for them to purchase a new one, Taeyong thought).

“I was just wondering if Mark could stay the night at mine?”, Donghyuck hesitated for a moment before turning to face Mark and adding, “That is, if you even want to…”

Mark just grinned at him brightly, his eyes forming happy crescents.

Taeyong smiled softly before agreeing, “Of course, I don’t have anything against that. Stay safe and have fun, kids!”

“Thank you, Taeyong!”, Donghyuck shouted while already impatiently dragging Mark with their intertwined hands towards his own house.

Just as they were about to enter, a lonely raindrop hit Donghyuck on his cheek, leaving a streak of water behind and Donghyuck raised his eyes towards the sky. There were clouds covering almost the entire night sky, but he could still make out single stars, shining through the blanket of clouds and giving him the courage he needed. He smiled at Mark again before leading him over the threshold and into his room, deliberately ignoring the looks his younger brother threw their way.

Mark loved Donghyuck’s room, because whatever aura Donghyuck emitted, it found its roots in this room, covering every single plant and book with its traces. It made Mark feel at home, just as much as he did in his own house.

Mark sat down at his usual place on Donghyuck’s bed, patting his lap to indicate to the younger to lay down, so Donghyuck did. Ever since their first date at Mark’s house, it became kind of a routine and Donghyuck was _never_ one to disregard his routines.

And then they talked about all the flowers and the stars, and sometimes about the raindrops providing a steady background noise when they hit the concrete outside and Donghyuck just loved these moments with Mark. He _loved_ them and he would do everything possible in this world to keep them for as long as their smiles and laughter filled the air between them.

And then there was a lull in the conversation and Mark locked eyes with Donghyuck - who never truly lifted his eyes from the other’s face to begin with - and Mark’s hand caressing Donghyuck’s scalp faltered, because there was something in Dongyhuck’s eyes that he couldn’t decipher, but it made him _feel_ . _So much_.

And then Donghyuck smiled at him, _so brightly_ , and Mark _knew_. So he just waited and Donghyuck knew it was time. He was still scared, but he knew it’ll never truly go away, so he accepted it and he talked.

“ _Mark_ ”, he whispered, “ _I love you_.”

And Mark has never felt so warm before, so he just smiled. Because Mark was never good with words. Has never been. So he just stood up, intertwining his fingers with Donghyuck’s and pulling him back out, over the threshold of the entrance door and into the rain that was hitting the concrete so steadily, because Mark knew just how much Donghyuck loved the rain. And then they stood there, slowly getting soaked through with the still cold spring rain, but neither of them minded, because they had each other’s warmth.

“Can I kiss you?”, Mark finally asked and might Donghyuck have been unsure of it before, were all of his worries now washed down by the rain, leaving nothing but certainty behind. And Mark must’ve known. So Donghyuck nodded, giving permission.

And when their lips met, _finally_ , after almost two years of uncertainty, it felt like the world stopped for a moment, just to let them feel for a little bit longer.

**Author's Note:**

> i hope you enjoyed this rollercoaster! and thank you if you actually read till the end, i really appreciate you👉🏼👈🏼  
> if you enjoyed this mess, i'd love if you could leave kudos or even a comment with your thoughts, that'd make me immensely happy, thank youu uwu  
> i'm also thinking of a Chensung spin-off, lmk if you'd wanna read that!
> 
> (i've listened to In This Shirt - The Irrepressibles for the last part (~the confession~) so it might've turned out more dramatic than i intended on, i'm sorry for that)
> 
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/DieAvocadoTwins)  
> [curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/silberbunt)


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